One step forward, six steps back.

Infertility sucks. It especially sucks when there is absolutely no reason for it. Welcome to the world of Unexplained Infertility.

We have had every test known to man, and we both check out healthy, functioning, and totally normal. Textbook perfect was the phrase used. We tried and tried. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch-o. We booked our first appointment and were told we had to wait 6 more months- just in case- because our odds of conceiving naturally were better than the odds of conceiving with IVF. After all, they can't explain it. We should have a pregnancy by now. So, 6 months and then IVF. Straight to IVF. I asked this specifically because frankly, it's been a long road and I am not a spring chicken.

So we sucked it up, and waited.

We called to book our first IVF appointment. We confirmed this was our first IVF appointment. We confirmed this was the one where we get the drugs and I can turn my rear end into a giant pincushion. Heck, even my husband called it in so everything would be in Dutch and there would be no miscommunication (since my Dutch is limited to "baby's first 200 words" level). So you can imagine the absolute "ripping out of the heart, throwing it on the ground, and doing a little stompy dance on it" moment when the doctor said "No IVF for you."

Apparently our odds are still too good "naturally". Even better? She now signed us up for 6 freakin months of IUI. Standard, un-enhanced IUI. Basically the husband does his business in a cup and they turkey baster it in a few minutes later. You know, kinda like sex, but all the fun bits in the middle are totally replaced by separate sterile rooms, a few kitchen utensils, and a staff in lab coats.

In the UK and the USA couples like us get IUI plus drugs, where they basically up the egg count to give better odds. Kind of like buying 6 lotto tickets for the week instead of just one. One last attempt at natural. One last hooray. Once more into the breach. You know, win one for the Gipper and all that.

But for us? No boost, no special methods. Gipper gets the shaft. They are concerned I am "too fertile" and the doc is worried about me being the next Octo-mom. Funny, but the past 2 years and 4 months haven't appeared very fertile to me.

So now we are in yet another six month waiting period. Oh, sorry, "additional phaseal attempt before some other alternative method which may or may not be IVF but will be decided on by the doctor and not us" period. The doc hates me calling it a waiting period apparently. It's not a waiting period, it's "the process" as assigned to us by a computer program.